ALTERNATIVE SCENARIOS

BRUSH WITH FAME


My sister texted me about being behind Steven Colbert in a rental car line last week, asking what she should say. Naturally, I knew exactly how to handle it:



1) Hey I loved you in 40-YEAR-OLD-VIRGIN!



2) Your show’s great but give the telethon a rest!



3) Hey it’s you! Is it true you like spectral sushi?



4) You know those crop circles in Europe? I did those.



5) You look so much shorter in person! You look so much thinner in person! You look so much funnier in person!



6) Colbert, you’re the best mole Fox News ever had…



7) Steve! O’Reilly called… he wants his tie back.



8) How did that nasty Florida paternity suit work out?



9) I’m so sorry Mr. Colbert — we have a car waiting for you but Abdul came to work with his padded vest again. May I take that for you?



10) Loved your GOT MILK ad!