ASKED AND ANSWERED

On May 4, 2006, at 2:07 PM, JB wrote:


Dear fellow music lovers:  As you know, I collect lists.  Over the years, I have assembled a list of the top records of all time, as identified by various critics and publications.  These lists usually focus on rock, pop and r&b, with very little attention to blues, jazz or country and no classical at all.  I am looking to fill in some of the gaps in my collection, but the gift certificate I have will only allow me to buy 2 or 3 CDs, so I need your help.


 
The list below contains the highest ranking albums from my list compilation that I don’t own already.  In many cases I own other recordings by the same artists; in some cases these are greatest hits compilations.  Where I own none of the artist’s recordings, I have put an asterisk next to the artist’s name.  If you need more information about what albums I already own, I’d be glad to let you know, but I wanted to keep this short.
We are relieved to hear you own records by stones, Zep, Gaye, Young and the rest, but there are MANY TITLES HERE that are simply too esteemed to be without… And not just the “highly rated” kind of esteemed that you own but never listen to… I must say I can’t get through the month without putting on BEGGAR’S BANQUET, and I’m sure that makes me an old FUDDY DUDDY, and I DON’T GIVE A HANG.


If you could only pick three off this list, which would you pick? 


 
            Led Zeppelin                           IV

            The Rolling Stones                  Let It Bleed

            David Bowie                           Ziggy Stardust & the Spiders from Mars

            Marvin Gaye                           What’s Going On

            The Clash                                The Clash

            *Michael Jackson                   Thriller

            The Rolling Stones                  Sticky Fingers

            *AC/DC                                  Back in Black

            The Band                                The Band

            *Joy Division                          Closer

            Prince                                      Sign o’ the Times

            The Rolling Stones                  Beggar’s Banquet

            Neil Young                              After the Goldrush

            Led Zeppelin                           II

            *Massive Attack                     Blue Lines

            *Metallica                               Metallica

            Nirvana                                   In Utero

            Oasis                                       What’s the Story, Morning Glory?

            *Primal Scream                       Screamadelica

            Simon & Garfunkel                 Bridge over Troubled Water

            Bruce Springsteen                   Darkness on the edge of town

            *The Stone Roses                   The Stone Roses

            Stevie Wonder                        Songs in the Key of Life

            The Band                                Music from Big Pink

            *Michael Jackson                   Off the Wall

            *Joy Division                          Unknown Pleasures

            *N.W.A.                                  Straight Outta Compton

            Pink Floyd                               The Wall

            *Portishead                             Dummy

            Public Enemy                          Fear of a Black Planet

            Otis Redding                           Otis Blue/Otis Redding Sings Soul

            *The Verve                             Urban Hymns


 
 
JB

Poncy Law Firm

State Street, Suite xxx

Boston, MA 02109

617-523-25xx


 
 
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JB,


 My man you frighten me to the quick. TO NOT OWN some of these puts you in great peril, weak from cultural deprivation and vulnerable to attack. 


TO ADMIT not owning them amounts to HIGH AESTHETIC TREASON. I hear the ghost of G.B. Shaw wailing “If you do not know DIE ZAUBERFLOTE, you are an ignoramus…”


You are brave, however, and worthy. And so to the matter at hand, in order of personal preference: 


           *Portishead                             Dummy

            *Joy Division                          Closer

            *Massive Attack                     Blue Lines


This was easy: I just chose three asterisked titles since you need all three AND stop ANNOUNCING to people that you DON’T OWN ANYTHING BY THESE BANDS. 


You don’t need anything by Michael Jackson, the world keeps turning. Perhaps a Motown compilation, but don’t even make it a twofer. That’s the stuff you can deal with by downloading since WHO WANTS TO PAY HIS LEGAL BILLS? That should keep you away from ALL Sony product from here on in. 


But knowing you, and knowing your disposition, I should think you could cadge some bills out of mary’s purse when she’s not looking and snatch GOLD RUSH, STICKY FINGERS, LET IT BLEED, BIG PINK, and OTIS BLUE, that should get you through the summer. Next time you see one in a used shop, just plunk down for that ZEP box, it’s the doorstop that keeps on giving. And also, go get those STONE ROSES, world’s unlikeliest durability… on a COMPLETELY different order than Verve, and I LIKE Verve, honest. Indulge me by seeking out Ride’s NOWHERE, same ilk, bigger mess. And My Bloody Valentine. 


Somehow I know you would treat me gently if I came to you with my legal theories, so I’m trying to be nice… BUT DO TAKE A TIP AND PRETEND TO BE A BIT MORE LEARNED IN THESE MATTERS, BUBBA. People will talk. 


CLEM


PS: Now I want to be in the loop for exactly WHAT titles you choose, HOW you choose, and WHAT your response is… will you make an average of all our recommentations, or pick the most eccentric tips? Or spite us all and pick all the ones we leave out, taunting us with your “insider” knowledge the next time we bump into you with your clothes on. Or is this whole thing a RUSE to foil us into admitting that none of can hear past the list? (For the Band, MAKE SURE YOU HAVE MOONDOG MATINEE…)