1. Oops! Congress Accidentally Funds The Arts From the groundbreaking news organization that brought you such exclusive reports as "White House Pretty Sure Uzbekistan Diplomat Stole A Bunch Of Soap" comes stunning news concerning the U.S. Congress. It seems that the nation's top legislative body has accidentally approved a large amount of money to be spent on the arts. Members of Congress are, quite naturally, horrified by the revelation, with the Senate majority leader quoted as barking, "We approved what?" A House member was aghast at the implications of the funding allocation: "This means some limp-wristed NEA member will decide what qualifies as art rather than Congress or the president. Remind me never to skim a bill again, no matter how long it is." The Onion 03/12/03
   
   
2. Music - Not Words - Is The Best American Propaganda The US State Department has enlisted writers to write about the virtues of America in a propaganda effort. "Regardless of whether you buy into this kind of cultural marketing, it's clear that the State Department chose the wrong medium. American book publishers can tell you that American men between 18 and 30 don't read a lot of books. The Arab street reads even fewer—just one book, mostly: the Quran. The United States should have followed the lead of Arab governments, which know that music is the region's most powerful form of expression. That's why they use it for propaganda—and also why they ban so much of it." Slate 01/09/03
   
   
3. How To Enjoy Your Museum Visit Haven't been to a museum in awhile and you're wondering what the right way to appreciate what's inside? The Onion has a helpful guide. Tip #12: "Spend a minimum of 30 seconds, ideally 45, staring at each exhibit so no one will suspect that every molecule in your body is screaming to get the hell out of there and go to the mall." The Onion 03/03
   
   
4. Where Are The Great Women Artists? Back in 1971, art historian Linda Nochlin published an influential essay titled "Why Have There Been No Great Women Artists?" "It was a provocative, lengthy, and wide-ranging examination of women’s status, past and present, which commenced with the author’s "open-minded wonderment that women, despite so many years of near-equality . . . have still not achieved anything of exceptional significance in the visual arts." Now - 30 years later - "how many of Nochlin’s observations remain valid and how have they influenced the discourse on art in the academy, in the museums, and in the marketplace?" ArtNews 03/03
   
   

5. When Pictures Aren't What They Seem... "One of the most successful - if bizarre - cases of overpainting a great artist's picture came to light earlier this week, when it was disclosed that a Rembrandt self-portrait had been hidden under layers of concealing paint for 300 years. An unnamed pupil changed the 28-year-old Rembrandt into a flamboyantly dressed Russian aristocrat in a red hat, earrings, long hair and dashing moustache. For the next three centuries it was regarded as a portrait by an anonymous minor Dutch artist." These things happen more often than one thinks. How? The Guardian (UK) 03/13/03