Sticking around

I’ve said it before: Wendy at Ling Spa on the Upper West Side is a font of marketing ideas. There are few things I like more than hearing her stories about the fabulously wealthy women who come in all the time; my two favorites to date are the 1. the woman who claims her husband has never seen her without make-up (she sleeps with it on and only washes her face once a week, SO GROSS) and 2.  the 15-year-old whose mother suggested she get a Brazilian bikini wax “for her boyfriend,” which is even more gross. Last week, Wendy told me that the lady who had the appointment before mine gets a facial once a week. “What could she possibly be getting done?” I asked. “If you have money, I’ll tell you how to spend it.” she said.  Because I have a one-track mind, this led me to wonder if arts organizations offer enough ways for me to spend the money I have.

I went to the New York Philharmonic opening last Wednesday night. The tickets were expensive ($72 – $255), and obviously people could buy tables at the post-performance gala. I can’t afford a gala ticket, but my friend and I wanted to do something fun after the performance; no point in wasting the pound and a half of make-up I had on my face. We went to O’Neals’ across the street. I had two martinis and a chicken sandwich and he had three glasses of wine and a burger. The bill was $100 even. No, our $100 isn’t going to make or break the Philharmonic or any other arts institution, but why not take it? Human beings are lazy. There are better burgers in New York City, but no, my friend and I were not traveling farther than across the street at that time. Given the opportunity to stay, I’m sure we wouldn’t have left Lincoln Center.

No sooner was I thinking this that I received a “liner notes” e mail from Berkeley Rep. I had bought tickets for the Green Day musical American Idiot for Saturday afternoon since I would be in San Francisco to see Sondra in Trovatore that evening. After a lengthy note from the dramaturg about storytelling (which perhaps wouldn’t have been necessary if there was a story being told in the actual work – zing!), we came to this:

Specialty cocktails to help you rock ‘n’ roll

Our mixologists have gone into overtime concocting irresistible libations to celebrate the world premiere of American Idiot. In addition to Pabst Blue Ribbon (the beer of punks) with whiskey chasers, we also offer a carefully chosen beer list that includes local brews Pyramid Hefeweizen, Bison Brewery IPA, and Speakeasy Brewery Prohibition Amber, as well as imports Heineken and Newcastle. Now to our cocktails — may we tempt you with… St. Jimmy – Taste the sweet and sour of life with this edgy mix of Jim Beam bourbon, sour apple schnapps, and cranberry juice. Whatsername – Enjoy an urban romance with this delicious blend of Absolut Ruby Red Vodka, Torani pomegranate syrup, and orange juice, served on the rocks. Jesus of Suburbia – Find salvation in this surprising mix of Skyy vodka, Midori melon liqueur, and a splash of pineapple juice topped off with bubbly club soda. Letterbomb – A classic cocktail gets a rock-and-roll makeover. Jack Daniels and Coca-Cola are bombed with a liquor-soaked cherry and a splash of cherry juice! Take advantage of our early-bird special. The lobby opens an hour before showtime, and cocktails, beer, and wine ordered within the first 15 minutes of opening are half-price! Stick around after the show because the party continues. After most evening performances, the lobby bar and the courtyard will remain open, and drinks are $1 off! Visit our website for a complete list of offerings at Marty’s Place, our lobby café.

As mentioned, I went to an afternoon performance so sadly could not order a $1-off Letterbomb, but I obviously would have. Their theater is beautiful, the drinks sound fun, and the price is right. In addition to getting the money I would have spent at the Berkeley equivalent of O’Neals’, the theater is curating a casual, social environment where everyone has just seen the same performance and, as they are remaining in the space, will probably be inclined to keep talking about it.

I know many presenters have “under 30” or young donor events, but that always requires a lot of advance planning and spending, and honestly: who actually wants to go to an “under 30” event?  Most likely only people over 30! We’re all sheep – lazy, cheap, sheep – so just encourage us to make the last-minute decision to stick around, hand us a custom cocktail, call it the “not-Gala” and take our money.

I’m going to The Met opening tonight. For the last two years, Fiorello’s – also across the street from Lincoln Center – has taken my and about ten of my friends’ cold, hard cash, and I’m sure they will tonight as well. If I could spend it at The Met, I absolutely would.