Why are classical music radio shows often so turgidly presented? They generally fall into two camps.
The first is very serious, with the host showing-off how much knowledge of obscure record labels and arcane musicological esoterica he or she knows, as in “A. Schmendrick’s Salutation to Wodin in D-Flat minor composed in 1965 employs Fermat’s Last Theorem in bars 368 to 392, which brings to the fore the composer’s deep-seated childhood mistrust of paleontologists.”
The second is very vapid, with the host putting on a creamy, shampoo-ad-style voice and using lots of alliteration, as in “Comfortable, Casual, Classical: Music Just The Way You Like It.”
Last night, when I got to guest-host, for the second time, Sarah Cahill’s Sunday evening classical music show on NPR, Then & Now, I decided to take a third path. I made bad puns (“Let’s get a handle on Handel”), said “cheers!” and asked my guest about dressing up for a gig in Georgian military costume.
In the middle of the show, while a track by Debussy was playing, I asked my board operator what he thought of my approach. “I like it,” he said. “But maybe you’re laying it on a bit thick.”
Of course, he’s probably right. I’m not saying my way is necessarily better than ways one and two. But hopefully, once they stopped rolling their eyes and groaning, I kept my listeners entertained.
Post Script:Â On the subject of bad classical music puns for an unashamed radio host, reader Chris Baker contributed the following priceless avalanche of word play (thanks Chris!):
That’s just the tip of the Schoenberg. Haydn seek. I went out for a drink last night, and all I heard was gossip and some Bartok. I don’t like ice cream, but I love Schubert. Mahler?!–I barely know her.