Theatre critics and other performing arts community people often wonder how best to make a graceful exit from a venue when you don’t like the show and have to run the gauntlet past the director/performers/producer etc on your way out to the sanctity of the nearest bar.
Some people I know simply slip out during the applause so that they don’t have to risk confronting the artists. Ungracious cowards.Â
Others adopt the “two block rule”, smiling benignly when asked what they thought of the show as they head out the door, and only letting out their true feelings when they’ve put at least two blocks of distance between themselves and the venue. This is also pretty yellow-bellied.
A third group simply lies through their teeth, telling the artists how much they enjoyed the show even when they really didn’t get much out of it at all. On occasion, I imagine some critics even manage to persuade themselves that they did, after all, like what they saw and end up writing a panegyric in print. This is no worse, I suppose, than saying you thought a show was great to the director’s face and then going on to slam his or her efforts in the review.
Finally, there’s the use of the carefully turned phrase. This is hard to pull off as it requires confrontation while attempting to maintain one’s integrity. A dramaturg friend of mine recently told me that when she’s faced with talking to artists after a show she didn’t like, she enthuses “I had the most marvelous seats! I could see everything from where I sat!” I’ve also heard people say things like, “Wow! That was really something!” and “Congratulations on all your hard work!” Some of these lines are OK. I usually get tongue-tied and can’t think of them at the right moment though.Â
No method of dealing with this situation is ideal in other words. I can’t pretend to have mastered the art of the graceful exit. But I’m getting better at it with practice.
In other news, “lies like truth” will be taking a long weekend break. I’m off to sunny Michigan today and will post again upon return to the Bay Area on Tuesday. Until then, keep your wits about you.