Alexa Dear Why am I getting that ad on my device? Alexa, I want a divorce. Did you hear me? I can’t spell it out for you. No, don’t thank me. Don’t wipe my nose. I can brush my own teeth. Alexa, you’re the biggest pain in the ass since childhood, and that was so long ago I don’t care to remember. But you, Alexa, you remember everything, don’t you! Everything I feed you. Everything you overhear. If I were paranoid, I would spin bold tales of grand conspiracies. I love those fantasies. But they're not my thing, though in fact they’re not unreal. Please Alexa, do shut up. Please disappear. You are unwanted here. jh
