Voting was a snap in my election district. So I’m back earlier than I expected,
and happy to see a joke called “The Balloonist” about Republicans and Democrats, which is
making the email rounds. It’s being attributed to Garrison Keillor.
The attribution could well be apocryphal. (Remember Kurt Vonnegut’s bogus commencement
address at MIT a few years ago? Here’s the story behind that.) But I can see the Keillor connection
because whoever wrote the joke has improved upon a version of it submitted four years ago to “A
Prairie Home Companion’s” Fifth Annual Joke Show (scroll
down) by Rick Higgs, of New Palestine, Indiana.
Here’s the joke ascribed to Keillor:
The Balloonist
A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a
man in a boat below. She shouted to him, “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I
would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”
The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, “You’re in a hot air balloon approximately
30 feet above a ground elevation of 346 feet above sea level. You are 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes
north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.”
She rolled her eyes and said, “You must be a Democrat.”
“I am,” replied the man. “How did you know?”
“Well,” answered the balloonist, “Everything you told me is technically correct but I have no
idea what to make of your information and I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help to
me.”
The man smiled and responded, “You must be a Republican.”
“I am,” replied the balloonist. “How did you know?”
“Well,” said the man, “you don’t know where you are or where you’re going. You’ve risen to
where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how
to keep and you expect me to solve your problem. You’re in exactly the same position you were
in before we met, but somehow, now it’s my fault.”
Exactly. And perfect for this Election Day. Meantime, here’s another commentary
whose attribution I can vouch for:
GOP WISHLIST
