Making Friends

Nala

It has been over a year since I found an excuse to write about Nala (our dog). (Art and Puppies) The time to do so again has come. Recently I was walking her and saw a woman eye us and back away. As we passed she said, almost apologetically, “I’m afraid of dogs.” I could have explained to her that Nala is a sweetheart who just wants to be loved and to love everybody, but as we passed I simply said, “I understand.”

This raised two thoughts that are, believe it or not, germane to this blog. The first is that some people with whom arts organizations might want to engage have had negative interactions with the arts. Hard for some to believe, but true–for example, interactions seeking ticket purchases or expressions of support without any reciprocity or real concern for them. They are not going to welcome overtures (I struggled to find a less punny word, but failed) from us. In addition, the arts establishment is so tied, in the minds of many, to power and privilege that its representatives may not be welcome at their doors. We are not unanimously viewed as golden retriever puppies.

To engage with some (most) people requires patience and persistence that demonstrates genuine interest.

The other thought was that like Nala, who at 18 months old is still described by our vet as “exuberant,” we can sometimes be over-eager to bond, metaphorically jumping up in the faces of would-be new friends before they are comfortable with us or even know us. There is, in the development of any relationship, a period in which it is appropriate to curb our enthusiasm in ways that are appropriate to the current level of trust and familiarity. At the risk of boring repetition, relationships take time.

Engage! (with wisdom)

Doug