Apropos of this really embarrassing piece, my kind of person…
• …prefers hot dogs to hamburgers.
• …prefers trains to planes—in theory.
• …likes Johnny Mercer best:
• …likes Carolyn Leigh second best:
• …thinks funny is sexy.
• …isn’t cynical about anything except politicians and journalists.
• …can cry at the drop of a hat, even when he knows perfectly well that he’s being manipulated into doing so.
• …would give a lot to have written this scene:
• …is bone-tired of mere cleverness (except when it’s so virtuosic as to be completely irresistible).
• …is always happy to be somebody else’s straight man.
• …will go to any film or play that has Zoe Kazan in it.
• …prefers cats to dogs, though not militantly so (unless they slobber).
• …loves most of Stephen Sondheim’s musicals, but doesn’t think he’s God.
• …thinks the original version of The In-Laws is the funniest movie ever made, not excluding His Girl Friday and Some Like It Hot.
• …thinks The Glass Menagerie and Our Town are the greatest American plays, not excluding Long Day’s Journey into Night.
• …thinks this is the most beautiful piece of music by an American, not excluding the first take of Charlie Parker’s improvisation on “Embraceable You”:
• …likes John Wayne movies.
• …dislikes Woody Allen movies (except for Radio Days).
• …likes Steely Dan, but is O.K. about it if you don’t.
• …likes this just as much:
• …is never, ever afraid to praise what he loves and knock what he hates. (You’d be surprised how many people are—some of whom are professional critics.)
• …is too enthusiastic to be cool.
• …isn’t a snob about anything—not even snapping on one and three:
• …doesn’t confuse taste with virtue.
And yes, this is a self-portrait. Why shouldn’t it be?