Archives for August 2, 2007

Confidential to Phillip A. Evans Jr., vice president and chief communications officer for Turner Enterprises:
Now might be a good time to visit a certain house in Tallahassee. Once you’re there, rip the phone cord from the wall and disconnect the modem. You may be interrupted here by a man who is eager to continue “setting the record straight.” In a gentle, firm voice say to him, “Bob, why don’t you just sit still for a bit.”
Then make the man a nice big plate of scrambled eggs, some toast and a little Mandarin tea. For dessert, pour him out some whiskey. Let him choose what the two of you watch on TV.

In honor of new Poet Laureate Charles Simic, three prose poems from his book The World Doesn’t End (all untitled):

I was stolen by the gypsies. My parents stole me right back. Then the gypsies stole me again. This went on for some time. One minute I was in the caravan suckling the dark teat of my new mother, the next I sat at the long dining room table eating my breakfast with a silver spoon.
It was the first day of spring. One of my fathers was singing in the bathtub; the other one was painting a live sparrow the colors of a tropical bird.
* * *
We were so poor I had to take the place of the bait in the mousetrap. All alone in the cellar, I could hear them pacing upstairs, tossing and turning in their beds. “These are dark and evil days,” the mouse told me as he nibbled my ear. Years passed. My mother wore a cat-fur collar which she stroked until its sparks lit up the cellar.
* * *
I am the last Napoleonic soldier. It’s almost two hundred years later and I am still retreating from Moscow. The road is lined with white birch trees and the mud comes up to my knees. The one-eyed woman wants to sell me a chicken, and I don’t even have any clothes on.
The Germans are going one way; I am going the other. The Russians are going still another way and waving good-by. I have a ceremonial saber. I use it to cut my hair, which is four feet long.

This morning I hit the road for points north, mostly but not entirely to see shows in Connecticut, New Hampshire, and Maine. I won’t be back until August 13. Any blogging I do between now and then will be strictly on the fly. During part of that time I’ll be totally inaccessible–I’m spending four days on Isle au Haut, an island off the coast of Maine that I last visited four years ago–and I’ll be on the move for much of the rest of it.
I’ll be leaving you in the more than capable hands of OGIC and CAAF, who have long since proven their ability to keep you busy and amused. Take it away, ladies!
Later.

Here’s my list of recommended Broadway and off-Broadway shows, updated weekly. In all cases, I gave these shows favorable reviews in The Wall Street Journal when they opened. For more information, click on the title.

Warning: Broadway shows marked with an asterisk were sold out, or nearly so, last week.

BROADWAY:

• Avenue Q * (musical, R, adult subject matter and one show-stopping scene of puppet-on-puppet sex, reviewed here)

• A Chorus Line * (musical, PG-13/R, adult subject matter, reviewed here)

• The Drowsy Chaperone (musical, G/PG-13, mild sexual content and a profusion of double entendres, reviewed here)

• The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee (musical, PG-13, mostly family-friendly but contains a smattering of strong language and a production number about an unwanted erection, reviewed here)

OFF BROADWAY:

• The Fantasticks (musical, G, suitable for children old enough to enjoy a love story, reviewed here)

CLOSING SOON:
• Beyond Glory (drama, PG-13, adult subject matter, reviewed here, closes Aug. 19)

• Frost/Nixon (drama, PG-13, some strong language, reviewed here, closes Aug. 19)

• Old Acquaintance (comedy, PG-13, adult subject matter, reviewed here, closes Aug. 19)

Farewell, my friends–farewell and hail!

I’m off to seek the Holy Grail.

I cannot tell you why.

Remember, please, when I am gone,

‘Twas Aspiration led me on.

Tiddlely-widdley tootle-oo,

All I want is to stay with you,

But here I go. Good-bye.

Clarence Day, “Farewell, My Friends”