ACCORDION, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
–Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary
A gentleman is one who knows how to play the accordion but refrains from doing so. –attributed to Mark Twain (and many others)
I am not a demon. I am a lizard, a shark, a heat-seeking panther. I want to be Bob Denver on acid playing the accordion. –Nicholas Cage