We’re going to start a slightly off-topic new segment here on Life’s a Pitch called “Things Amanda Cannot Even a Little Bit Handle.” Feel free to pitch content you don’t think I will be able to handle. Let’s begin:
The logic here appears to be that if there had been a relationship column in The New York Post for Ashley Dupre to read when she was growing up, she would not have become a prostitute. It follows, then, that Dupre should be the one dispensing advice to other would-be escorts so they can learn from her mistakes. Excuse me: from her “experiences.” Presumably, at no point will these young readers think to themselves, “Men paid her for sex and now she has her own make-up crew and newspaper column.”
“Is there tell-tale signs that your husband isn’t happy in his marriage?” Yes there be!
“There’s nothing better than learning from someone else’s experiences.” I’m not sure that’s how the expression goes?
At least this unmitigated disaster gives me the opportunity to tell you that on Friday, a publicist colleague suggested I write “the next great Sex and the City type trashy beach novel.” Clearly the life of a classical music publicist promises as much if not more excitement than that of a sex columnist, so I’m fairly to moderately certain the unwritten Flacks and the City will get its own HBO series. When I asked my colleague/friend who would play me, she said “Isn’t it obvious? Why, Megan Fox of course.” I suppose that makes sense: Megan Fox has brown hair, I have brown hair! Megan Fox has brown eyes, I have brown eyes! Wait – I said “hair” already, right? And let’s not forget we’re both women.
So Megan Fox will have to follow me around for at least a year, I figure, and my clients and artist friends will all get lots of on-screen time, so everyone wins. Right, so I’m here, HBO, if you’d like to throw the idea ball around some time.
Blogger’s note: I’m told Megan Fox actually has blue eyes, so sadly, we’re down to two things in common. -AA